Anger....

There was a beautiful Kannada song in a movie "Bhagyawantaru", where a father sings this song to his son.
it goes like this .....
"Sun gives light to all of us....
....gives life to all creatures in earth
.... one cant think of life without Sun
.... But Still people dislike Sun
.... only because of heat it exerts and its brightness
.... Moon takes light from Sun and gives to us
.... But every one likes moon because it is cold and pleasant."

Hear we can correlate the heat the sun exerts with our anger.

No matter how good you are as a person....
No matter how much you help others........
No matter even if other person cant imagine their life without u.

If you lose your temper, you may end up losing the Relationship.
I am sure lot of people will question what i am saying.

How can a person who cant imagine life without me may go away from me , and just my anger at one point of time would eventually result in Ending of Relationship.

If you ask such question to yourself, you've already taken the other person and their relationship for granted.

Lets take it this way.....

Person who cares for you and cant imagine their life without you...
May get very possessive about you.
May have lot of expectation from you.

They care about to such an extent that even a small thing you say will hurt them dearly. They may not react when you say that but deep inside their heart, they are Hurt. Soon they will realize that they are getting very much possessive about you and have lot of expectation from you. They take this as a wake up call and slowly start controlling their feelings for you.

You on the other end do feel the things are not the same the way it was before and are totally unaware of what caused this change.

You may even end up guessing what happened? Even if you ask the other person about the change or the reason for it, other person might not respond cause he/she is afraid you might get angry by listening to the response.

The other person still cares for you the way it was earlier, the only difference now is that the other person is now afraid of losing the relationship and this fear may end up taking the person further away from you.

You on other hand would start blaming him/her for sudden change in this relationship and start distancing from her/him.

And there goes a good relationship for a Toss.

You may think this is not a reality..... But I've faced this in real.

I've nearly lost my best friend and one of the most beautiful relationship i ever had in my life just because i lost my temper once. Difference here is i was aware of my mistake and tried hard to get the relationship back to way it was earlier.though the relationship is normal now it is not still the way it was before, i think the fear of losing the relationship is still in existing in that persons mind and i feel that person is still restricting lot of feelings due to this fear.

Though i was asking this question regularly to this person it took more than 5 years for that person to actually confront and I'll not blame that person for that...only person who needs to be blamed here is me.

I generally don't give a second chance to the people who hurt me.... and honestly i am not proud of this nature, but somehow i cant change it. Somehow i lose my trust on the person who hurts me and i start believing the person who has hurt me once can hurt me again.

there is different way people react when they get hurt, but eventually it results in ending the relationship.

I was always maintained Possessiveness and Expectation is dangerous for any good relationship. but now i realized that though we should keep away from such emotions at the same point we need to respect such emotions from other person if we value our relationship with other person.

The least thing we can do is not hurt their feelings by getting angry on them.

Anger never helps and we need to control it as much as we can.
I myself am not able to control my anger sometime,but will surely try to reduce this behavior, cause i do value my relationships with the people around me.

Lets not let our anger come in the way of our relationship. There was a good line in a movie PAA, person who hurts suffers more than the person who gets hurt. so lets think 100 times before we end up hurting someone cause after that relationship may not be the same and you'll end up regretting your action for the lifelong.

I would like to end this blog by apologizing to all the friends whom I've hurt knowingly or unknowingly because of my anger.I know it might not compensate the pain you got due to my action but still.... i am Sorry.

Aap Aise to na the

Bahaar aa jati thi jab….
choti choti baat per tum muskurate the
Tumhare ek hasi par …..
Hum saari duniya bhool jaate the
Hasi se chehra Aise Khil jaata tha
Sharma kar har kali murja jata tha

Ab jaise is kali main koi shabnam hai
Kya baat hai jo teri aankhen nam hai

Is se phele kabhi yeh aansoon aate na the
…… ….. Aap Aise to na the

Woh bhi ajeeb shaam thi….
Jiska har lamha tumhare baatien sunte beet jaata tha
Kuch hosh hi nahi rehta
Kab Shaam chaandni ka chadar odh kar so jaata tha
Bas sirf tumhari meethi baatein main sunta rehta
Aur khud ko tumhari duniya main kahin kho deta

Ab jaise humare kaan tumhare baton ke liye taraste hai
Hawa bhi Tanhai main kaano ko gud guda kar haste hai

Is se pehle kabhie tum aise gumsum na the
…… ….. Aap Aise to na the

Woh zamaana yaad hai…..
Jab hum ek doosre ko milne ko taraste the
Kitne bhi mashroof ho……
Hum milne ke liye waqt nikaal hi lete the
Milne ke intezaar main aise aalam tha
Har lamha mushkil se katne lagta tha

Ab lagta hai jaise hum ek doosre ko bhool gaye
Door to nahi rehte, phir kaise itne door ho gaye

Is se pehle tum aise ajnabi to na the
…… ….. Aap Aise to na the

Is tarah kyoun khud ko bhool gaye
Dard main kyoun is kadar kho gaye
Apna har gum humse baat lo
Kya hum tumhare apno main nahin hai
Kehte ho ke duniya cheen gaya
Kya hum tumhare duniya main nahin hai

Itne pahle kabhi hum paraye na the……
…… ….. Aap Aise to na the

Belief

There is one amazing movie which was based on a true story, thought me lot of things ...... "EIGHT BELOW"

Eight dog who were tied in chain in Antartica and left to survive on their own and they survived somehow for more than 175 days till their master came back for them.

Master was not silent for all these days, he was trying hard to get back to Antarctica and kept hoping that dog will survive till he reach.

Dogs suddenly found themselves in a situation they were not used to .... surviving on their own and to add to the pain all of them are tied.

Anybody would have found helpless in such situation and would have given up.... but they didnt. they freed themselves somehow and stay together and survived for more than 175 days.

What would have happened if the master had lost hope and have thought that dogs might have died.... most of us would have thought that way. How can they survive.... But he believed and his belief was proved right at the end.

The point over here is neither dogs nor their master gave up....... they believed in something which most of us would have thought is crazy.

Belief ...... a very strong word. Belief like this true story makes impossible things happen....

Belief ........that i can do this
Belief ........that situations will improve
Belief........ on my own capability

I was a very bad fielder at time and i had a friend who was an amazing fielder... i asked him one day while practicing how come u catch every ball, he said cause i believe i can catch it. i learnt from it and practiced hard and somehow i gained the reputation of trusted fielder.

There is one friend of mine who believes the she will somehow send her dad to Canada to meet her sister, i know she'll surely be successful someday.

A belief can change your life .... can make you achieve what others thought is crazy.

Lot of people believed in themselves and History.......

So lets Believe in ourselves and create our own History,,,,,!!!!!

Complaints in life.......

Lot of people including me ... Do complain about lot of things in life.

We often tend complain about ......

• People
  
• Situations
• Relationships
  

But i honestly ask myself ...

Will a person or a situation or a Relationship change for me just because i am not comfortable with it?

Will complaining about the anything have any impact in terms of improving the same?


Answer obviously is NO.... so if the answer is NO then "Are we not wasting our time and energy on complaining?"

If complaining doesn't help then we should we do?

• Can we change the thing we r not comfortable with?
• Should we live with it?
• Can we get rid of it?

Change does sounds great ..... but we tend to forget be it people situation or Relationship, none of these are solely driven by you. There are others involved in the same and you may or may not be able to change them for your comfort.
If you plan for change.... Great!!! but u need to prepare yourself that you don't get disappointed when things don't move your way.You need to even realize that you may even end up hurting the person or the relationship u wish to change against his wish.

But if we cant change it then should we live with it? Hard to accept but i am sure there is lot of time when we have no options but to live with it and hoping the things will change someday for us.
Sometime for achieving something larger we do compromise on some things which were not relevant at that point of time, there is no point in complaining about it later on 'cause that is the choice you've taken, you have to live with it.

Isn't it easy to get rid of it. We do it lot of times and most of the time we don't feel good about it. The scar of the wound remains within us.i don't know about others but felt really bad when i had chose this option in life.

So should we Change it,Live with it or Escape it.... what should we do?

How about this......FACE IT......

Most of the time things which looks too bad for us, might not be actually that bad.... It might just be our perception.
Some times we just don't want to accept the reality and try to escape from the fact.
Why fail to analyze and understand why this is happening to us.

So why not face it?

I strongly feel we always have a significant role in whatever we are facing today.
If a person is not listening to you today, may be we were too lenient to that person earlier and now he cant take you expecting him to listen to you now.
If you find it difficult to finish your work in time then you have accepted too much of responsibility than you could actually do.

So y not probe ourselves before we complain about anything happening to us......
Why not try to understand why we are in this situation rather than complaining.....

Lets face the situation.....
Lets keep ourselves open for change rather than trying to change things around us.
Lets not run away from it. Rather we should in turn accept the current situation and adapt our-self according to it and then look for the opportunities within the same.
Lets focus more on what you can do in this situation rather than wasting time thinking what other did and what others should do to help you out of this situation. If people around u support you to get out of the situation nothing like it but u cant keep expecting it from them.... Its your problem and you need to solve it whether others help you or not.

The mantra is being POSITIVE... Complaining never helps .....It in fact makes you more weaker..

I know it is much tougher to practice.... but lets at least give it a try.

So lets be POSITIVE and promise to ourselves that we'll avoid complaining about anything in our life instead we'll FACE IT and overcome the same.

Chasing Dreams

Chasing Dreams is an amazing experience in life.....
People who have chased their dreams will surely agree.....
Whether we achieve it or not .... the chase is always a worthwhile experience.

Sometimes we get so involved in the fulfilling the dream that nothing else matters....
We get so involved that we leave the world around us far behind while chasing dream we have in mind....

I had one dream.... which i did chase hard... I worked day and night towards it and never felt tiered though i slogged for more than twelve hours every day to achieve it.... no holidays ... no time for friends....no personal life ...nothing... just nothing...... except that one dream...

The dream made me do lot of thing i never thought i would ever do in my life.....

Eventually i didn't achieve that dream. I was sad but was never discouraged... the point that i tried was more important for me. I'll never have regret in life that i lost not because i didn't try for it but to the destiny.

But after that i never chased any dream as passionately as the earlier one .... i was like a sailing ship which took the direction the way wind took it. Every things in life and every dream waited for tomorrow.... and tomorrow never came.

Doing MBA was one dreamed i chased and achieved, but believe me i didn't work much hard for the same.It just happened ......Thanks to the group study with my great MBA buddies.

But now i am feeling it .... A need to have a dream which i would chase with the same passion...

So what would that dreams be ...... ???

People always say we need to have SMART goals in life,,,,
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

I feel the last characteristics of SMART is what i feel of outmost important... Timely.... or time bound, you can not just keep dream and not assign any time bond for the same.hence i would assign time-line for all my dreams

So lets see the dream i would look for.....

1. Be Debt free by March 2010
2. Own a flat by March 2011
3. Work for a principle company by Jan 2010
   
4. Learn guitar by Jan 2010 :)
   
5. Visit all the amazing places in the world (sorry no one assign time-line for this)

So this is for now.... I think my dreams are SMART...lets see how many more dreams will get added and how many i would i be able the time-line.

Adios

Gone too soon.....

An Enigma... An Icon.... God of Music.......
Man who created a HISTORY in the world of music.
Man ....BORN TO AMUSE, TO INSPIRE, TO DELIGHT......
But alas….GONE TOO SOON.

Man who blessed the world with his great music...
and walked his own way to HEAL THE WORLD
Through his Song, through the charity
He always leaded by his contribution towards a better world
Touched many social issues through his songs, his words
And pleaded us to start giving and make a better world

Things were not all good for this gifted son of god…..

He faced allegations that never got proved
Suffered pain and agony that never got healed
His own kin stood against him in the time of need
Even Love hurt him more than it could have healed

But the MOONWALKER was hard to be stopped.

Though life was BAD and seemed DANGEROUS to face

He faced it stood tall against all odds with SMILE in his face

He kept advancing saying
“BEAT ME, HATE ME …. U CAN NEVER BREAK ME”
ALL I WANNA SAY IS DAT THEY DONT REALLY CARE ABOUT US

He came out stronger with a greater hit ……. And created a HISTORY.

But soon the storm came with all might…….
and blew off the candle light
A candle that burned itself just to spread light……..
and stood alone against the dark n stormy night

But this candle will still spread its light for the life time …….
Whenever one talks of Music, we’ll REMEMBER THE TIME
The time when YOU ROCKED OUR WORLD with your Music
The time when you entertained and healed the world with your Music

Your voice your song will keep saying to us ... "YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Whenever you’ll search love and compassion I’LL BE THERE"

MJ you may have GONE TOO SOON
But in our heart you’ll stay for ever.
Maybe he the almighty needs you…
Much more than we deserved you

When someone shares..........

when someone shares............

everyone one has experienced this situation one time or the other.

Some feel good about it and some feel the other way round...........

There is one thing I'll never forget in my life........

Our faculty for Organisational Behaviour Ms. Aparna Sharma asked in her second lecture.....

"What would you do when someone shares his problem with you."

I being over smart replied " I'll try to solve his problem"........

she immediately asked "did he asked for the solution?"

I was shocked when i heard this Q but then she made us understand what she meant.

Majority of the times person who is sharing is not expecting any solution .... he would probably know his problem and possible solutions better than any other guy.

Then why he felt the need to share, if he is not expecting a solution?

Answer is UNDERSTANDING. He needs someone to listen to him, to understand him, to feel what he is going through.

If a person needs suggestion/solution majority of time it would be the first thing he will ask for while sharing...... Mainly because its the most important thing in his mind at that point of time.

Normally when someone shares we end up ....

• giving our suggestion
• relating the similar event in our life
• just ignore it thinking it is exaggeration
• ignore it as you cant help him out

Rather than actually listening, understanding and feeling what one wants to share.

Person has found us worth sharing his problem itself is something we should feel proud about. It clearly shows that person trusts us, is concerned about us and feels we'll understand his problem and current situation.Hence it becomes the bigger challenge for us not to let him down at that point of time.

But what should we do at this point of time.......... LISTENING is key. Saying is easy but doing is lot tougher.

We are so much involved in our own set of problem, we find it difficult to leave aside our problem for sometime and listen to his set of problems.

We feel our set of problems are much bigger than his and still he is cribbing.

Sometimes we are just not in mood to listen.

With all such thing will run in the back of our mind while he is sharing. ........how can we listen. It is really difficult but not impossible.

We need to push our personal things aside and try putting our feet in his shoes to understand what he is going through right now.It is tough no doubt but it is worth trying, at least for the sake of a person who thinks you are person worth sharing his problems.

So lets at least put our efforts, whether our efforts will help him or not is secondary but at least we'll do justice to the trust the other person has shown on us by sharing.

When going gets though.....

When Climb gets steeper

When night gets darker

Your legs become weaker

You start breathing harder

Your Destination is no-where at sight

But you end up putting all your might

Reaching the top is your only focus

Not listening to wat ur tiered body say

Wiping the sweat off ur forehead

you move ahead making your own way

Finally when you reach your destination

Reaching the top is an ultimate feeling

When going gets tough........

Tough get going.

Today we are facing a similar situation

A situation posed by global recession

Spreading across the globe like darkness across the sky

Survial becomes a though as a steep climb

Everyone is afraid of the situation

Future not secured .... Job insecured

No one is willing to invest because of this fear

Everything around will make you feel weak and tiered

But this is the true test of our character

This is the time for us to prove ourselves

Lets leave all the negativeness aside and move ahead

Agreed that things are not so good

but our fear will only make is worse

We need to be like the man ......

who refuses to listen to pain of his own body

who refuses to be afraid of darkness and tough way ahead

and forces ahead towards his destination.

So lets get together and stop worrying about our future

Lets focuss on fighting and overcoming recession .....

rather than crumbling to the fear of the same.

Together we can and we will do it

Lets be the change..... To see the change

Pamper urself

One of my favorite song had these lines…….

You need to spend some time, look in to urself
Watch the river flowing to the sea
Travel down the highway not looking where it ends
Listen to the music as it flows.

Lot of times we get lost in this materialistic world
Trying to cope up with our job
Our Responsibilities, Our Relationships, Our Deliverables
We end up completely forgetting about OURSELVES


Is’nt this the fact?
The fact we are aware of
But we always ignore.

There are moments when u wish to be left alone
There are moments when u feel tiered and stressed
And there are these moments which you wish to celebrate …
some small moments in life which may not seem relevant to others

What do we do during such moments?
Ignore such indications and allow stress to pile up?

Pamper urself is the key….
If not frequently then at least when life gives such indications.

Live some moments only for urself
Do what you like the most
For me it is the following……
Sit alone at lakeside and listening to soft music like love song, gazal or inspirational song.
Watching Movie
Or spend some time in a restaurant sipping and dining at luxury.

Believe me it helps me a lot to relax my mind.

So let’s relax ourselves and get ready for challenges ahead.

Watching the Sunset

I spent an evening sitting lonely in the beach as the day comes to its end
Watching the Sun set slowly towards the point where the sea appears to end

Golden sand of beach all over the body and cold breeze from shore caressing me
Soothing sound of waves tickling my ears as the waves comes rushing towards me

One side of mind is enjoying the Twilight,
looking at strokes of red yellow and orange spread across the sky.
Other side of mind is getting cautious about Night
which will follow soon to spread its darkness across the sky

One side of mind glances back towards the beautiful day
As slowly and steadily it is ending
Other side of mind is getting ready for the next day
And to face challenges it will bring

One side of the mind gets lost in my past
Thinking of past relationship and learn from experiences
One side of the mind looks at the present
Good times with near and dear ones and pleasant surprises

Life is never the same
The way sun sets and rises
Our life faces ups and downs
there are Disappointment and surprises

When sun set we are rest assured that it will rise next day
and once again a day will come beautiful and bright
Similarly when things are not going well with us one day
Lets be rest assured a day will come everything will be alright

Neither day nor night can last forever
We need to be ready for both
Be strong when night becomes darker
And modest when day becomes brighter