Anger....

There was a beautiful Kannada song in a movie "Bhagyawantaru", where a father sings this song to his son.
it goes like this .....
"Sun gives light to all of us....
....gives life to all creatures in earth
.... one cant think of life without Sun
.... But Still people dislike Sun
.... only because of heat it exerts and its brightness
.... Moon takes light from Sun and gives to us
.... But every one likes moon because it is cold and pleasant."

Hear we can correlate the heat the sun exerts with our anger.

No matter how good you are as a person....
No matter how much you help others........
No matter even if other person cant imagine their life without u.

If you lose your temper, you may end up losing the Relationship.
I am sure lot of people will question what i am saying.

How can a person who cant imagine life without me may go away from me , and just my anger at one point of time would eventually result in Ending of Relationship.

If you ask such question to yourself, you've already taken the other person and their relationship for granted.

Lets take it this way.....

Person who cares for you and cant imagine their life without you...
May get very possessive about you.
May have lot of expectation from you.

They care about to such an extent that even a small thing you say will hurt them dearly. They may not react when you say that but deep inside their heart, they are Hurt. Soon they will realize that they are getting very much possessive about you and have lot of expectation from you. They take this as a wake up call and slowly start controlling their feelings for you.

You on the other end do feel the things are not the same the way it was before and are totally unaware of what caused this change.

You may even end up guessing what happened? Even if you ask the other person about the change or the reason for it, other person might not respond cause he/she is afraid you might get angry by listening to the response.

The other person still cares for you the way it was earlier, the only difference now is that the other person is now afraid of losing the relationship and this fear may end up taking the person further away from you.

You on other hand would start blaming him/her for sudden change in this relationship and start distancing from her/him.

And there goes a good relationship for a Toss.

You may think this is not a reality..... But I've faced this in real.

I've nearly lost my best friend and one of the most beautiful relationship i ever had in my life just because i lost my temper once. Difference here is i was aware of my mistake and tried hard to get the relationship back to way it was earlier.though the relationship is normal now it is not still the way it was before, i think the fear of losing the relationship is still in existing in that persons mind and i feel that person is still restricting lot of feelings due to this fear.

Though i was asking this question regularly to this person it took more than 5 years for that person to actually confront and I'll not blame that person for that...only person who needs to be blamed here is me.

I generally don't give a second chance to the people who hurt me.... and honestly i am not proud of this nature, but somehow i cant change it. Somehow i lose my trust on the person who hurts me and i start believing the person who has hurt me once can hurt me again.

there is different way people react when they get hurt, but eventually it results in ending the relationship.

I was always maintained Possessiveness and Expectation is dangerous for any good relationship. but now i realized that though we should keep away from such emotions at the same point we need to respect such emotions from other person if we value our relationship with other person.

The least thing we can do is not hurt their feelings by getting angry on them.

Anger never helps and we need to control it as much as we can.
I myself am not able to control my anger sometime,but will surely try to reduce this behavior, cause i do value my relationships with the people around me.

Lets not let our anger come in the way of our relationship. There was a good line in a movie PAA, person who hurts suffers more than the person who gets hurt. so lets think 100 times before we end up hurting someone cause after that relationship may not be the same and you'll end up regretting your action for the lifelong.

I would like to end this blog by apologizing to all the friends whom I've hurt knowingly or unknowingly because of my anger.I know it might not compensate the pain you got due to my action but still.... i am Sorry.